Post-10k

     I am trying to figure out what to write about my 10k yesterday. I just couldn't find the right words but I will attempt to get it down later in the week. I worry if I write it now it'll be full of what I perceive as failures and not a celebration of finishing a very difficult run.
     Give me a few days to put things in their proper place and I'll write about it.

Trudging along

     I think I'm in week 2 (or is it 3?) of my marathon training. The reason I don't know is that school is insane and winding up for the year, so it's all I can do to remember the day of the week and where I'm supposed to be. Lucky for me that various reminder thingies are all around the house so I don't miss a run, even if I'm not entirely sure what day it is that I'm running on!
     Next weekend I'm running my first 10k. the idea of running 6.2 miles does intimidate me since my current training has shown I am weak and slow. Still, if I have to walk most of the 10k, I'll do it. I'm going to finish it and simply work the following week on getting further than I was the week before.
     Since I do deal with depression that can be near debilitating, I am constantly struggling to keep the nagging doubts and defeating talk from getting me down. I KNOW I'm slow and I really should be able to run further than I can before walking, but currently I can only do what I can. I know all runners can get down after a bad run, but if you deal with depression, that 'down' feeling can stop you from going out again for weeks.
     I've been making my runs. Though I have to walk so much of it, I'm still completing what I start. If I go out for a 4 mile run and it takes me an hour, so be it. If I find that my pace has yet to decrease from my 12:30 pace, so what? I'm doing it.
     I also have great motivation in my friends and family who are backing me up by donating to my marathon training. I may have to tweak my current training schedule a bit more, but I will get there. Come November, I WILL finish my first marathon, no matter if I have to walk the majority of it. I know I will be further along than I am now and my only goal is to finish the race. I'm not shooting for a time or anything other than completing the 26.2 miles.
     Anyone else out there struggling with running or simply being healthy after a near lifetime of doing the opposite? It IS a difficult path, but one I believe will be a very rewarding one.
    

Runner Needs: Instead Softcup

     This is a post about menstrual cycles and a great, awesome product I use. Feel free to skip if you feel it's TMI. Instead Softcup REALLY is an awesome product for women, though! I am obligated to add that, though I am being compensated by Evofem for this review, the opinions expressed are my own.

Also, please feel free to sign up for the Softcup Challenge via For the Love of the Run or just read her blog since it is pretty awesome! 

     The more I run, the more I find that I need little things to help me along the way. One big problem I've run into is, like most women, period trouble. My flow has always been heavy and running while on my period was a pain. Nothing stayed where it was supposed to and I never felt confident...which is one big reason all of my running pants are black.
     Then I saw a link about Instead Softcup. I clicked, read through it and was intrigued. Below is straight from their website...exactly what I read and what made me rush out to buy a box.
      Before you get to their awesome information, let me tell you why I love them so much. I can run and run and run and guess what? No odor, no leaking, no worries! Even at my job, in which I cannot guarantee I can get to a restroom even once in 8 hours, I've NEVER had to worry about leaking. One Softcup and a pantyliner (b/c I'm paranoid) and I literally forget I'm having a period.
     I KNOW this item will be a big help during my marathon training and I fully intend to use the reusable Softcup to be a bit greener...since, come on, how green are all the things we flush and throw away each month? With it being so easy to use, so comfortable that you forget about it, AND the fact I don't have to worry about TSS, I can't think of a better product to keep with me on the long road to Thunder Road.

All info below is STRAIGHT from the Instead Softcup website. Check out the website for more information and even order yours or find out where to purchase Softcup in your are!

A unique, proven advancement in period protection.

Instead Softcup fits your busy lifestyle—you can wear it for up to 12 hours during any activity. Softcup is comfortable; you can't even feel it once it's inserted.

Just try it on your next period, and experience the convenience and freedom that thousands of women have with Softcup.

What is Softcup?

Softcup is a flexible cup that is worn internally, around your cervix. It collects, rather than absorbs menstrual flow. It's hypo-allergenic, latex-free and completely safe when used as directed.

What is reusable Softcup?

Reusable Softcup is a durable, flexible, reusable cup that can be worn for up to 12 hours and reused throughout one menstrual cycle. Reusable Softcup has all the benefits of disposable Softcup—with the added advantage of just one cup per period. Learn more about reusable Softcup.

Why should you try it?

Softcup is great for busy women, or women who just don't want to have to think about changing a pad or a tampon every few hours. Athletes rave about how the Softcup carries them through a long race. Travelers don't leave home without it.

• You can wear Softcup for up to 12 hours
• Softcup is comfortable during swimming and sports
• Softcup eliminates menstrual odor, since the menstrual flow isn't exposed to air
• Softcup loves making love . . .you can wear Softcup during intercourse for less messy sex on your period
• Softcup is comfortable—you can't even feel it once it's inserted
• Most women typically use fewer Softcups than tampons or pads because of the long wear-time
• You can use one reusable softcup throughout entire cycle...saving you money and the environment
• Softcups have no wings, no strings . . . just freedom!

 

Softcup is Life-Friendly

You don't have to change your routine just because you're on your period—Softcup can be worn during all types of physical activity. Because it's worn internally, and there are no strings, you can wear anything without worrying about revealing any trace of your period protection.

Softcup offers 12 hrs of period protection

Softcup Loves Making Love

With Softcup, you and your partner can enjoy less messy intercourse during your period, and neither of you will even feel it's there.

Softcup Keeps You 'Fresh'

Menstrual odor is caused by menstrual fluid being exposed to air. Because Softcup holds menstrual fluid internally, it eliminates dampness and odor.

Softcup is Body-Friendly

Safety is important when it comes to your reproductive health. Instead Softcup has been cleared for the market by the FDA and has been on the market for more than 10 years. Both the reusable and disposable Softcup are made entirely of hypoallergenic, non-toxic, latex-free, non-irritating material.
In more than 10 years and 120 million Softcups sold, Softcup has never had a reported incidence of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). TSS is believed to be caused by the toxin-producing strains of the bacterium Staphylococcus Aureus. Population studies suggest that the risk of TSS is related to tampon absorbency. The higher the tampon absorbency, the higher the risk of contracting TSS. Unlike tampons, Softcup is non-absorbent, and does not change the bacteria levels naturally present in the body.

Thank you

     This post was going to be about my 4 mile run today. It was going to be about how hard it is to keep going when you haven't run in a while. It was probably going to be a bit whiny and self-serving. That completely changed when I got home and checked my emails.
     When I first announced I would indeed run a marathon before my 30th birthday, I was sure I'd meet with not a few people who would think I was kidding. At my size and as a not-very dedicated running novice, it seems like a long shot that I would finish the training to do this race. To be honest, I wasn't all that sure about myself when I announced it.
     However, I was pleasantly surprised when everyone jumped on board the bandwagon. So many people have cheered me on. So many others have donated actual, hard-earned money to help me pay for my entry fee (marathons aren't cheap). Others have offered much needed advice from their own marathons. Newanderthal has already bought me some much needed gear.
     What I love is that everyone so enthusiastic about this! It really helps me in a very tough situation. Running 26.2 miles is a tough distance for anyone. For a person who's out of shape, easily discouraged with herself and prone to bouts of depression, I need a support system.
     Everyone who donates to my race in any way will get their name on a special race shirt that I'm making. Gear or monetary donations will get you on that shirt. What I love is that on race day I will have the names of everyone who's had my back the whole way ON my back!
     Thank you to everyone! Your support is helping me more than you could ever believe!

So far, my list of people to thank and I cannot possibly thank them enough!

Tammy M.
Lori B.
Vane B.
Hanna U.
Kimberly M.
Mildred M.
Jill W.
Gracie M.
Jason F. (my Newanderthal)

Waist-ing Away

     Okay, not really, but my waist size IS currently on my mind. My wonderful Newanderthal asked if he could purchase my hydration belt as a gift. This is his way of showing his support since making a donation to my Thunder Road Marathon would be sort of pointless. I mean, he would GLADLY donate any amount to me for this, but since we share expenses and basically his income is supporting me, his monetary donation is almost cyclical.
     He sent me a text asking me my waist size in inches. I honestly didn't know b/c women's pant sizes are arbitrary numbers instead of the inch sizes for men's pants. I told him I would find out when I got home. And then I did...and I nearly had a mini-attack. One reason was because I couldn't believe it myself and the other was b/c I knew I'd have to tell Newanderthal the number.
     Newanderthal took the news far better than I did. I know for a fact his waist size is smaller than mine. I did not want to admit that fact. Vain as it sounds, I did not want my guy to know how fat I was. I know he KNOWS b/c he has eyes but saying that number to him was admitting something I sort of wanted to delude myself in. No way to do that now.
     I'm still going to focus on my running, distance first and then speed. However, I would love to see that waist size go down. I'm not even concerned about the scale...just the inches. I would love to tell you in several months that my belt needs to be seriously adjusted. Right now, I have to accept the fact that my big ol' waist is just in a not-so-good range.
     However, this is something to work on but not my biggest priority. That is getting the distance down so I can run my marathon in November! Onward to Thunder Road!

Ps. Please consider donating to help me run my marathon! Any person who donates will get their name on the sponsor shirt I'm designing to wear on race day!

Marathon Mindset

     I have so much to get me occupied between now and the Thunder Road Marathon on November 19th. So, very, very much. *sigh*
     However, I can two choices here. Either I can let that very long list of things overwhelm me (as I have been) or I can get in a marathon mindset. The first one hasn't done much for me yet, so I figure I might as well hop on a new bandwagon.
     What is a marathon mindset? Well...I'm not entirely sure yet. I do know it will require me paying more attention to my nutrition. Not 'dieting' but actually getting more good and 'real' foods in my diet. Making sure I stay hydrated is also important. At work, I tend to not eat lunch nor drink anything...for 8 hours. That is not healthy and will definitely destroy my running.
     Speaking of running. That's another way I'll have to change my mindset. I cannot skip runs nor can I slack on my cross-training days. I'll even need to take my rest days seriously. I don't have the time to sit out for an injury.
     I won't say I won't have fun. I want this training to be fun. It's on my lifelong to-do list and I'm going to get it done. This. Year. Why NOT have fun with it?
     There is still so much I need to learn and I'll probably learn most of it as I go along. Yes, I have plenty of resources both in print and online. I'll find what works for me and run.
     One thing I'm not going to let stress me is how long it takes me to get faster or go further. I have already looked over my schedule and know my long runs will be slow and involve quite a bit of walking. That doesn't mean I can't finish the mileage. I can push myself just a bit more every time I go out. Eventually I'll be able to run the entire long run but I won't get discouraged about my cardio. Instead, I'll simply work to improve it.
     I know it'll be a long road and I don't have an incredibly long time to finish it. I believe I can do it. Other people believe in me too. Just need to get into that Marathon Mindset and stick to it!

Thunder Road Marathon

     I've been saying I wanted to run a marathon for my 30th birthday. Guess what happens this year? Yeah, I'm officially crossing over into 30-hood. That doesn't bother me they way it does some. I've fully reached the conclusion that growing up is indeed optional.
     I will admit that with everything going on this year, I was giving up my marathon goals. Turns out I may not have to. I do have wonderful friends and family who are agreeing to sponsor my race, i.e. give me money to pay for registration so I can get out there and do it.
     The furthest marathon from me and closest to my birthday is the NC Thunder Road Marathon in November. Like all marathons, the earlier you sign up, the cheaper the race. I missed the cheapest sign-up, but can probably make the June discount. On my own, I cannot afford to pay the registration fee due to medical bills, regular bills and a low paying job. If others are willing to help me achieve this dream, I definitely won't stop them.
      Though I may actually get a really cool deal with Instead SoftCup, I still need to see the details on that. If that pans out, I could have them pay for my half marathon, which a radical racing cousin of mine has told me is a prerequisite for running a marathon. If all goes well, this year will see me run a 10k, a half and a full marathon!
     If you'd like to help, feel free to donate via the widget on the right. If I raise over my desired amount, I will donate the money to charity or a kickstarter campaign. I'll keep everyone updated on my training and such!

Want to help me run this? Donate!